i don't LIKE it!!

Why is it I feel that I'm so unfortunate this year?! I HATE IT BADLY!! The more I experience unlucky moments, the more I lose myself and feel down. tsk... I don't know why in the world, I'm so unlucky this year?!?! hay... Because of that, I don't like to celebrate my upcoming birthday. Many people around me are always mentioning that my birthday is soon and whenever I hear it, I feel so sad and empty. I really really don't like to be happy right now or to celebrate something. What a heavy feeling! wooohh... I DON'T LIKE IT!! I'm so disappointed! Why?? .. I wish that there is no JULY 20 in this year. I hope that the time will just pass by and suspend the JULY 20. tsk... rrrggghh.. *mad.mad.mad* What's happening to me?!?! I lost myself right now and I couldn't find it. waaaahhh.. *shout.shout.shout* Whenever I see myself in the mirror, I really hate it! I'm so weak. I'm so depressed and stress with the things that are disheartened. ='( ... Many miserable things happened to me these past days and how would I celebrate my birthday if those things are keeping on interrupting my mind?!?! hay... Actually, I have so many wishes in my birthday. Before I'm always looking forward to it because I think that is my SPECIAL DAY but now, I don't think I can rejoice my birthday. It's different now. Things changed and moments that happened are breaking my heart. I want to cry but my eyes won't secrete any tears. =((( *sad.sad.sad*